saturday 8th august 2009

It’s like 6am or something ridiculous. The fire alarm woke us up just to see if we were on our toes. It will learn in time that we live on our toes. Though I’ll fess to being a tad disorientated. Yes, it’s disorientated, not “disoriented”. That’s not a word, unless you’ve been forcibly removed from China or something. You can’t just change the English language because sometimes it gets a little tricky! Like dropping vowels whenever they become inconvenient. They’re not girlfriends, they’re structural load bearing components of our vocabulary! What the hell is “aluminum”? Is there also a “magnesum”? Or a “perinum”? No, there is not. I’m thinking of petitioning the house of commons to abolish the number 4. I was never a fan.. we don’t need it, surely? Let’s eradicate 4 and see how we get on.

I’ll tell you what else grinds my gears, while we’re here..  Movies with verb-noun titles. Finding Neverland; Chasing Amy; Feeling Minnesota; Losing Isiah; Leaving Las Vegas; Educating Rita; Stealing Thunder; Chastising Wilberforce; Eating Pastry; Doing Mathematics; Walking Dogs; Beating Wife; Floating Biscuits..  etc etc… too easy.. been done.. cut it out!

Ah.. breakfast .. now we like that..

Later.